Preoccupied Attachment_Amy Kankiewicz

Preoccupied Attachment:  (Also known as anxious-ambivalent) Relationships that are characterized by feelings of unworthiness, apprehension, jealousy, uncertainty, or possessiveness.

Glee Season 3 Episode 18:    (See Alternative18:00-19:05)

In this clip, Coach Beiste is showing preoccupied attachment.  She is married to an abusive man, but does not leave him.  As shown in the last 10-15 seconds of the clip, her reasoning for staying with this man is that she feels as if no one else will ever love her.  She feels very unworthy (she believes she is not good enough for others to like her) and apprehensive (she worries about being alone for the rest of her life).  Therefore, she stays in the relationship she is currently in.

  1. #1 by saraxan on May 31, 2012 - 6:04 PM

    That clip was a perfect demonstration of preoccupied attachment. In fact, not only does the woman feel that she is unworthy of love or anything better, her husband probably experiences preoccupied attachment. I haven’t seen Glee, but from this clip, it might be assumed that her husband is possessive or even jealous at times in facing relationship insecurities. Possibly, he abuses her because he is afraid of losing control of her and having her leave him. He feels that he has to demoralize her to make her feel worthless enough to stay.

    Sara Walker

  2. #2 by alylallatin on June 7, 2012 - 9:48 PM

    This is a wonderful depiction of preoccupied attachment. This kind of relationship is heartbreaking to watch. I’ve had several friends involved in relationships involving preoccupied attachment. There are usually other underlying problems as well which increase the levels of fear and avoidance.

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