We have all been there. We are going to meet the parents of someone we are currently dating. Its a nervous time because we want to give a good first impression and dont want to do anything stupid or embarressing. For most of us the hype is far greater than reality and it goes smoothly because we just play into a social script. A social script is a culturally provided mental instructions for how to act in various situations. We know how to pass the meet the parents test and we stick to basics to just get through and not risk it.
Passing the test doesn’t go perfectly smooth for everyone though. In this clip from the TV show Friends Phoebe is going over to meet mikes parents and throughout she is trying very hard to follow the social script she thinks she needs too to impress Mike parents. It goes okay (subtitles in foreign language)
Phoebe struggles to keep with the social script. Her efforts at the start though when she just arrives is a perfect example of a social script. What she wears and how she acts is nothing like she does throughout the show but she changes what she does to try and follow what she thinks is needed in that situation. May we all learn from phoebe and see that we dont always have to follow a social script.
We have all been apart of a research project where lots of information needs to be gathered. And many times the gathering of information is not the funnest thing in the world to do so we look for an out. And often that out comes in the form of field research. Field research is research done in natural, real life settings outside the labratory. Field Research is the fun part of research when you get to go out into real life and actually see if what your studying works!
A great example of field research comes from Pepsi in the form of the Pepsi Challenge. Pepsi set out evey where and had two cups of liquid in front of the contestant and had them drink from each cup and then tell them which one was better. The field research was being done everywhere in society to help get a random sample and see if the people liked the Pepsi they had created. Here is a link from a way old school commercial involving the Pepsi Challenge.
This commercial shows the guy being told what to do and drinking each cup and then picking his favorite. This commercial show Pepsi field research they did when promoting their product. Field Research is typically the fun part of research and Pepsi found a way to make worth filming!
Androgyny refers to a quality of mixed feminine and masculine (traditionally speaking) traits in a single person.
A good example of andgrogyny is my boyfriend and I. We both have quite a few masculine and feminine traits. For example, I love to do extreme sports. I get filthy, risk my limbs, and don’t bother with ‘dressing up’ when I go do these sports. I also love to play video games and often ‘hang with the boys’ playing call of duty. I also have feminine traits of enjoying hair and make up when I go out with friends, reading romance, and talking about my feelings. My boyfriend is a great communicator and often asks me to be more forthcoming with my emotions. He also hasn’t cried himself in years and enjoys every sport you can think of.
We make good examples of androgyny because we illustrate a mixture of gender traits. While these traits are more gender typed because of culture than sex, they are still considered gender traits. And we exhibit a good mix of both.
Retelling is when a person relates a previous experience, often adding embellishments or other changes to enhance the story.
My personal experience with this is when I accidentally broke my boyfriend’s nose. It was a complete accident. He tickled me, I slipped, and I elbowed him in the face. I play ice hockey, as does he, but this means I have strong elbows. So, when I hit it, blood gushed out and it’s been crooked ever since. However, when he retells this story with the added changes such as how I ‘abuse him’ or ‘was mad’ or some other way to make me look bad. He usually tells the truth after having a laugh about it, but it drives me nuts that he always does this.
This is a good example of retelling because my boyfriend clearly is making changes to an event that he remembers clearly. He knows it’s not true, but he does it anyway. This is different than misinformation.
One thing that caught my eye in the book was what I read about loneliness and gender. For men to feel lonely, they have been isolated from group interactions. For women to feel lonely, they lack one-on-one time with someone they feel close to. This is something I think is SO true.
My husband and I are very different, and we both get our emotional “fill” in different ways. In order to not feel lonely, I need to have good conversations and quality time with people I have strong relationships with. For Collin to not feel lonely, he just needs to be next to someone… even if they’re not really doing anything with each other.
If we are both in the living room but I’m typing something up on the computer and he is playing a game on his phone, that’s good enough for him to feel like he is included. For me… I need us to actually have a conversation with each other. Even if I am with a group of people, if I’m not interacting I can still feel lonely.
It never ceases to amaze me how much genders differ with so many thing, loneliness being another one I can add to the list.